Marriage Ceremonies

Spitting on the Bride – Massai nation, Kenya

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Located in southern Kenya and in northern Tanzania live the Maasai people. They are among the most distinctive population of the region, this is due to their residence near the many game parks of the African Great Lakes, and their distinctive custom and dress. The Maasai tribe participate in a very peculiar Marriage ritual. During the marriage ceremony the father of the bride gives his daughter a final blessing by spitting on her head and breast. 

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Roughly around the ages of thirteen through sixteen the young Maasai girls get married. The girl are usually married to a much older man, and in most cases neither the bride nor bridegroom have ever met before. The marriages are all matched by the families of the spouses. The bridegrooms family meets with the bride’s family and depending on the situation decide on how much the bridegroom’s family will pay in exchange for the brides hand in marriage. The two families usually agree on livestock for payment, if the arrangement is between friends the payment ranges between four to five cows, but if it is between strangers it can range up to fifteen cows. 

A few days before the wedding the bridegroom and his best man begin the trip to the brides village, bringing with them the dowry. This livestock is a symbolic remembrance for the bride’s family because it will remind them of the daughter they once had. The Maasai people believe that once the spitting has taken place the bride is no longer considered part of the family. The spit is done to bring a blessing on the bride and a prosperous marriage. 

The young bride now leave with her newly found husband never to look back at her old home or family again, literally, it is believed that if she look back she will be turned to stone. Sometimes, Arriving at her new home the bride might be insulted by the family of the bridegroom this is done in order to ware off any back luck or curses that she might of brought from her previous village.

Crying ritual of the Tujia People in china 

Http://www.mandarintoday.com/images/5930_200708291149461.jpg. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

The eleven provinces that extend form West to East Yangtze River are considered to be one of the most diverse places on the globe when it comes to folk customs and culture. One of these cultures in particular has become quite popular world wide for its marriage customs. The Tujia Ethnic minority which live in the west Sichuan Province celebrates the importance of independent marriages with the tears of the bride. 

  The crying ritual of the Tujia people extended from the early 1600s to the end of the Qing Dynasty in 1911. It originated from the legend of The Princess of Zhao (Ancient China was divided into seven major states during the Warring States period) The Princess was going to marry the Prince of the Yan State of China. Immediately after hearing that her daughter would departure after marriage, the Queen of the Zhao State, fell to the feet of the princess and cried, begging her to return soon. Eventually this legend became the origins for the  “crying marriage” custom. 

Roughly, a month before the marriage ceremony the brides partake in the custom called “Zua Tang (sitting in the Hall)”  Around dusk each day the bride enters a hall and commences to cry for about an hour. The first nine days she weeps alone but on the tenth day her mother joins. This continues for another ten days and on the twentieth the grandmother, aunts, and sisters can join the weeping. 

The crying is not just random moaning, there are certain different ways that the bride can indulge, these are called the “Crying Marriage song.” These key words and phrases are beneficial in bettering the wedding atmosphere.  Here is an example 

A Crying Song

"Traditions - Festivals and Customs." Crying Marriage! A Traditional Matrimonial Custom of Southwest China's Sichuan Province. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

The bird in the tree has grown up; my sister is getting married.
Once married, when is she going back home?
Let us share the deep feeling tonight.
My sister is like a white lotus root, and no man can resist her charm.
My sister has a sweet mouth, which every man wants to kiss.
My sister has a pair of deft hands, good at embroidery and weaving.
My sister is kind-hearted, respectful to both father and mother.

The crying is a symbolic reminder of the importance of free will marriages. It reminds the bride and any one else weeping of the liberty they have in comparison to the miserable lives that came along with arrange marriages. 

Before arranged marriages ended in china, it was not unheard of for the bride to swear at the matchmaker, in fact it was an essential part of the ritual. Women were bound to the so-called ‘three obedience and four virtues,”  this was applied to them as an excuse so that they didn't have a say in who they wanted to marry. Filled with regatta brides began to swear off the matchmaker moments before stepping inside the automobile. 

In the rural areas of west Sichuan where matchmakers still contribute to the ceremonies, brides continue to swear them off. It is actually considered good luck for the matchmaker to be sworn off, they believed that if they are not scolded than their bad luck will never go away.

In present day, crying marriages are still practiced  and it is a matrimonial custom for every young Tujia girl to observe a weeping bride. It doesn't matter whether the bride is satisfied with the groom or not, they are still required to weep.  Some begin to cry as early as two months while others start as late as ten days before the marriage ceremony. 

Similarities  

Arranged marriages is the connection between these two cultures but it is a connection because they both view it differently.The Tujia marriage focuses a lot of time on insuring that the brides honor their ability to chose their husbands. Even from a young age they want girls to at the very least witness a weeping bride, thus painting  a mental picture of how a bride should act. In the opposite spectrum, the Maasia culture does not allow their women to chose their marriages.

Clarification 

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At a first glance one may misinterpret the spiting on the bride as a total disrespect for women but after doing more research this was not the case. For the Maasai, spiting is traditional. When they greet, when they get married and even when a baby is born they spit on each other. In my research I came across a video in which the dad of the bride spits on the groom after meeting him for the first time. 

It was also interesting to identify that neither the bride nor the groom had a choice in the marriage, and that it was the parents who chose. Usually the groom has a choice between three to five different sisters, but that case never appeared in my research. 

Values

From my research I conclude one major value that the Maasai Culture as well as one for the Tujia Culture

While doing research on Maasai Marriages over and over again the importance of the bridegroom came up. Once the groom and his best man arrive at the brides village the family of the bride greet him and give him full hospitality for him and his best man. The Maasai people care deeply about the bridegroom because he is the one who will continue to take care of their daughter. Because they care so much about who is going to take their daughter away, one can only conclude that they truly do wish the best for their daughter. The Value that the Tujia culture emphases is simple to see. Aside from all the weeping and moaning the ritual of the “Crying Marriage” is about  recognizing the full freedom of being able to marry who ever you want  to marry by witnessing how miserable arranged marriage makes the bride weep.

Citations 

Marriage Ceremonies

Tujia Crying Marriage 

online

Mandarin Today

N.d about MDT Mandarin Today http://www.mandarintoday.com/TheCustomofCryingMarriage.htm

"13 Amazing Coming of Age Traditions from around the World." 13 Amazing Coming of Age Traditions from around the World. N.p., 28 Sept. 2014. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.
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Yangtz River

N.d about YTR Yangtzer River http://www.yangtzeriver.org/culture/folk-customs-along-the-yangtze.htm "Folk Customs along the Yangtze." , Funeral Dance, Fishermen, Culture. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

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Strange feed

N.d about SGF.  Strange Feed http://www.strangefeed.com/crying-ritual-of-the-tujia-people/
"Crying Ritual Of The Tujia People - StrangeFeeD." StrangeFeeD. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

Maasia Spiting on brides

Online 

Africa Insider

N.d about AFKI. AFKInsider http://afkinsider.com/35797/10-fascinating-african-tribal-traditions/5/

"10 Fascinating African Tribal Traditions." AFKInsider. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

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Iwebsreet

N.d about IWBT. Iwebstreet  http://iwebstreet.com/different-cultures-with-these-bizarre-wedding-rituals/ "Different Cultures With These Bizarre Wedding Rituals." IWebStreet. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.

Online

ITHAKA

N.d about ALK. Aluka http://www.aluka.org/stable/10.5555/al.ch.document.bfacp1b10140 Online

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